Having said that I was going to sleep at 10pm a few hours back, it's 2:51am and I just finished watching The Break-up Artist which was a total waste of time. Highly doubt I can wake up to run later which totally sucks. And now I'm complaining. Hahahaaa jj sure scold me again.

★ Goodnight guys.

P.s. I got my new Macbook!

Sleepover at my place on a Saturday night! Lots of talkingggggggg like what we normally did a few years back god I miss you guys so much. And after everything I've been through, it always boils down to you girlies. Sleepover has totally took a turn for us; from scribbling boys' names on our Crush book as 11 year olds in the weee hours to curling up together talking about our different schools, and how someone thinks she needs to get a boyfriend soon heheeh. And we never fail to camwhore with 20 over shutters at every single sleepoverrrr seriously. Thinking back about it makes me so happy because no matter what happens and how different we are leading our lives I know I still have you girls my future bridesmaids haha!

P.S. ABBY I AM SO OVERJOYEDDDDDDDDDDDD IT FEELS LIKE YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED HAHAHAHAHA.

Anyway, I've been watching Chris Pine's movies in the recent days because I realise he is soooo cute. I bathe in glory in his strikingly blue eyes everytime they flash his face across the screen, just so alluring, so similar to Chace Crawford and James Marsden whose names have never surfaced on my xanga for an extremely long time.  He looked so hot, especially in Just My Luck.

On a rather negative note, I'm so f-ing annoyed with someone in school like seriously I don't get what's going through that hypocritical mind of yours. I'm beginning to hate the way you treat people. And this is probably the only time I'm ever gonna mention this cause I won't care anymore. retrjhfdjbngwjke! Just have to rant it out for once.

I think I need to get a new Macbook real soon! IT fair this Saturdayyyyyy am so excited.

I Dim Sum-ed with a few friends yesterday and Mahjonged at Brian's later at night. I have to go back for the buffet again. Love the deep fried chicken wings, stir fried chewy tender black pepper beef and not forgetting my favourite ha gao. It was super worth my pathetic savings. Vow to be there again before my holiday season ends.

I just watched The Ugly Truth and All About Steve for the past 3 hours. Although I'm not usually the sort who deeply analyses the inner depth of movies, actually I do just that I don't really consider them afterwards, but any how I realised both shows have this particular emphasis on being yourself instead of trying to be someone that you're not. Sometimes I get so self-conscious with my appearance, the way I speak, and at such great length of time, ponder over my flaws. I think I ought to stop doing that. It's so tiring to constantly worry and harber this unneccessary insecurity and I guess this is me once again being an idiot for doing so. I need to make an official end to my self-inflicted burden.

And right now I'm wondering, is this the road I'm suppose to be on? Searching aimlessly for things to feel my empty space? I've recited the question numerous times in my mind, "So what am I going to do tomorrow?" Why does it not feel like freedom? Or am I too used to the fact that my life runs on fixed schedules topped with heavy demand? Maybe I do regret not pushing myself to go for November's xp because I know that if I go I'd be proud of myself when it's over. Life is so boring when you have no sense of adventure. And I think it's only perfectly acceptable that I should now construct mine this holiday.

So there's fund-raising coming up, ocip @ Cambodia, and I think I need to clean up my entire room tomorrow. Can't wait to get everything organised once again and rip out unwanted papers pasted to the wall. I cannot allow myself to be effete like a useless shrimp. That means I have to start on homework really soon despite my overwhelming laziness these past few days. Boy I'm such a bummer.

This year's been extremely fun. It's like, this phase in life when you feel you're stretching out to reach the youthful peak of enjoyment with the tip of your fingers. All of a sudden, studies cca friends and the internet can all be clustered in a bunder of joy. But I know Something's missing and it's been absent this whole time. Every week, my conscience triggers me to go back to the way I was but it's so hard now. And I think I'm afraid, afraid that whatever I seem to be currently contented with will eventually be gone. It's so hard to decipher. And if there's any way I can actually compromise?

Take me to the boats